


Immoral and Impure

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Series: The Odd Trio [6]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Billy Bones, Gen, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, asexuality is not celibacy, community: mmom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 15:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18813301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Billy returns from a meeting with a fellow asexual, angry at being told he isn't pure enough to be a 'good' asexual what with the drinking, swearing, and, horror of horrors, masturbating.





	Immoral and Impure

"I'm home! And please, pour me a drink," Billy said, throwing his coat across a chair before he slammed the door. He sank onto the sofa with a sigh.

"The date did not go well?" Silver asked. He was already in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, and moved to grab the rum and pour them both a generous measure. He'd been expecting to have the place to himself tonight but luckily hadn't made plans given how early Billy was home.

"You could say that." Billy rubbed at his face. "God, he was so annoying. He asked if I'd considered the ethical issues about steak – the first I've had in a month – and didn't like it when I asked about the ethical issues of the quinoa in his dish. Then he was horrified when I ordered a beer because apparently asexuals are pure of body."

"What?" Silver handed over the rum, settled in to hear more details. It was nicer to commiserate about bad dates than to have been the one on the receiving end.

"I know! Fuck that. He didn't like that I swore either. Said it was crass and it ruined a movie if there was swearing."

Silver stared at him. "Was he twelve? No, twelve year olds love swearing. A hundred and twelve?"

Billy shook his head. "And when I started telling him that I wasn't interested in some fucked up - I deliberately used the word fucked at this point - notion of purity, that I was asexual and it wasn't a big deal beyond that, he got flustered. Asked if I had ever had sex. And I said no, but I masturbate. Frequently. I thought he was going to faint."

Silver sipped his rum. "He didn't?"

"No. Just said I wasn't at all what he was looking for and that no-one with such - what he say?" Billy frowned. "I expected perversions but he didn't use that word. Inclinations? Something like that. He went on for a bit, made it clear that I wasn't a good enough asexual."

"I'm sorry. You know that was bullshit, right?" Silver shook his head. Policing of sexuality was never a good look. "Remember that person who joked about taking away Anne's gay card after she kissed Jack at that party?"

Billy huffed a laugh. "I wish she'd been there tonight. Even if she hadn't got violent she'd probably have had a good comeback. I was just stunned and hurt and he paid for exactly his meal, minus the tip, and left."

Silver put one hand on Billy's knee. "I like you as you are, Billy. Rum drinking, steak eating, foul mouthed, masturbating, and all. You're like me, but tall and asexual."

Billy spluttered with laugher. "Thank you, I think." The smile left his face. "God, I'm asexual not celibate. Some aces do have sex. He made me feel like they were the same thing. For him it was all about self-denial. _Smug_ self-denial."

He defiantly downed his drink.

Silver moved to top up their glasses. "You said you don't need anyone, man or woman, in your life. Why did you even go out with this asshole?"

Billy shook his head. "I don't know. I guess part of me likes the idea of finding a nonsexual partner, though most of me is happy without one. Never hurts to try and make friends either, or connections generally. I thought someone who was asexual would be a good match; I found him on an asexual forum post for those looking to meet other aces."

Silver nodded. "I see why you thought that, but honestly, that's a pretty low bar. Gay men don't like let alone love every gay man they meet. Bisexual people don't bang everyone in sight despite what some people think. If you want a relationship it has to be with someone you share common interests and values with."

Billy rolled his eyes. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Not intentionally."

"Anyway, I won't make that mistake again. I'll get more details before I agree to meet anyone Make it clear I'm impure and immoral." Billy scoffed. "I'm going to spank my monkey extra hard later just because I can."

Even Silver had nothing to say to that. They sipped their rum in the silence that followed.

"Want to see what's on? Something with lots of swearing?" Silver suggested, tossing Billy the TV remote.

"Sure." Billy began channel hopping and Silver, drink firmly in hand, snuggled up next to him.


End file.
